things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize