i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
