Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
