im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
