I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
