When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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