you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
