omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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