i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
