piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Randomize
