i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
