I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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