yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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