I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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