so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
