Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
