so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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