I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Let's get the cat blown out
Drake has all the answers
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
