That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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