Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Let's get the cat blown out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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