Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
