she looked like the bat from fern gully.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This baby is an asshole
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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