Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you had me at cake vodka
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
