I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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