just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
