Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Don't make out with my wife yet
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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