This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
