he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
A+ Viking dick
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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