tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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