Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
