I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
