AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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