Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
