About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
