y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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