Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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