Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
