he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
