You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
