She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
