Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
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