I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
