that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
