low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
