You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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