you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
