There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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