I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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