I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
