My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
