Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
