Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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