How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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