im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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