I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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