I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
