This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
