hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
